From the doorway, Chaol asked, "Why, might I ask, are you so tired?"
She gulped down the rest of the pomegranate juice and wiped her mouth on a napkin. "I was up until four reading," she said.' [Why do you even have to ask, Chaol? It's only the start of the tournament of Celaena's life; of course she stayed up all night reading. SLEEP WHEN YOU'RE DEAD, YO!! If the competition barely merits any page time, why should the competitors actually give a shit about it?!]
'A few minutes later, Celaena frowned at herself as she hurried after the captain into the foyer. "I look ridiculous! These pants are absurd, and this shirt is awful."' [Way to be descriptive, Cinderella! Generic complaints FTW! It's not like you've been slaving in the salt mines for a year, or anything like that, OF COURSE YOUR CLOTHES MATTER and HOW DARE THEY?! DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN!!?!!?!!]
'"You expect me to use a mace an hour after sunrise?"' [The horror!]
'She bit into an apple. It was tart, with a sweet, honey-like aftertaste. "Oh? And what books do you love?" He named a few, and she blinked. "Well, those are good choices - for the most part. What others?" she asked, and somehow, an hour flew by, carrying them on the wings of conversation.' [Jesus. This paragraph isn't a pointless waste of space at all.]
'There was something girlish about her, too. Oh, he couldn't stand her contradictions!' [INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS!!! Because *my* Chaol doesn't have a va-jay-jay ... ]
'Celaena bit down her laugh. Archery? It was an archery contest?' [Yeah, that was my reaction, too ... ]
'Pelor, the gangly assassin, wasn't yet strong enough to manage a longbow, and barely made any shots. When he finished, his eyes gleaming with resentment, the Champions sniggered, and Cain laughed the loudest.
...
Despite herself, Celaena felt badly for the boy. His shots hadn't been that bad.' [Yeesh! If barely making any shots isn't *that* bad, I can see how CINDERBRAT is the world's scariest assassin.]
'"Why would she kill me? I think she likes being pampered. [*snort*] If she hasn't attempted to escape or kill anyone, then why would she do it now?" He patted his friend on the shoulder. "You worry too much."' [ZOMG! U NVR HERD OF BIDING UR TIME B4? This Crown Prince is clearly not the brightest crayon in the box.]
'Sam. What would he make of all this?' [Since he's never been mentioned before, I really can't say. Sorry.]
'Dorian peeled himself from the wall. For all her assassinating experience, she didn't notice him until he sat down on the bench beside her.' [Yeah, I can see why she's Most Baddest Assassinator EVAH! And who glued you to the wall, anyway, Crown Douche Bag?]
'"No. I can survive well enough on my own - if given proper reading material."
He looked at the fire, trying not to think about where she'd been only weeks before - and what that kind of loneliness might have felt like. There were no books in Endovier.' [I find it hard to believe that loneliness is your biggest problem when you're a beautiful seventeen-year-old girl slaving away in a salt mine, but ... what do I know? A BOOK!! A BOOK!! MY KINGDOM FOR A BOOK!!!!]
'It wasn't until later that Philippa brought the news. The Champion who hadn't shown up for the Test had been found dead in a servant's stairwell, brutally mauled and dismembered.
The new murder cast a pall over the next two weeks, and the two Tests they brought with them. Celaena passed the Tests - stealth and tracking - without drawing much attention to herself or risking her neck to save anyone.' [When your plot's so boring that you're summarizing it all, you've got a problem ... ]
'He remained in the doorway, fearful that she'd wake up if he took another step. Some assassin. She hadn't even bothered to stir.' [I know, right? Also, you're a stalking stalker, Crown Douche Bag!]